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Postcard Review – Rise of the Planet of the Apes

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Dear Rise of the Planet of the Apes,

You are a supremely frustrating film. You are a creature feature with impressive-but-still-only-just-convincing apes treated poorly by cartoonish villains, who are given a dose of smart juice and create a baseless, meaningless revolution. In short, an undercooked and unimpressive movie whose potential for statements on slavery, racism, apartheid, and humanity in general is completely lost.

You were supposed to be our first glimpse at the wildfire that would engulf the world and turn a planet ruled by man into a planet of the apes. Instead, you position yourself as the clicking sound of two rocks being banged together before a spark finally emerges to start the first pale finger of flame. You serve as a lackluster prequel to a much better, but still entirely hypothetical movie that would actually be worth seeing.

What a waste of potential.

With regrets,

Brian J. roan