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Dear Kick-Ass,

As we have met before, when we sit down and become reacquainted I marvel at the thing that makes you different. It was a quality I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But now it comes to me easily. You set a tableau at once familiar yet out of place for a ‘superhero’ story. It propels everything forward from the start, this steadfast aim to setup all of my expectations to be those of mediocrity, and it’s brilliant. Your main man Dave is particularly mediocre even amongst a sea of mediocre high school students. Hell, even his reason to try to become a superhero hinges on the fact that he is bewildered as to why no one has done it before him. I mean think about it, if the best you can do is the pitiful green wetsuit and the name Kick-Ass, perhaps you should consider accounting as a career choice and leave the job to someone a bit more creative.

As you walk, talk, and ooze the mundane we get to cringe with you along the way as you continue on your foolhardy mission. When predictably your first ass kicking is your own, at least medical science does you the favor of armor plating you a little on the inside so can better endure even more humiliating trouncings with less permanent damage. Shall we say your legend is born?

Ironically, you survive another near perfect thumping while someone videos you eventually chasing off a few perplexed thugs and wha-lah, instant Internet meme. You of course embrace it while anyone listening to your tale spontaneously smacks their forehead with that trusty open palm. As I have said, brilliant.
Lucky for you, two real-deal ass-kickers take notice and, while correctly considering you a brain addled moron, they find your chutzpah laudable. Thank God someone has taken pity on you, as you sure need some baby sitting. Perhaps even the gods smile a little on the needy as even your friends set you up with your out-of-reach, wet dream desire girl … as her new gay friend. Can it get any more pathetic? Absolutely, and it will!

However, I shall digress. As we spend time with Big Daddy and Hit Girl we see how the real superhero process works and it is at this point where they save Kick-Ass’ bacon again that there is a clear shift in this story and just like the rest of it, that shift is subtle and equally compelling. As I ponder this and decide there are really two films within this you, my respect for director Matthew Vaughn grows.

As the showdown with brutal mob boss Frank D’Amico quickly makes this a matter of life and death, we are permeated by the flow of a real superhero story with loss, killing, redemption and ultimately an affirmation of human spirit and the will of good to work harder than evil. That is as it should be and when Dave gets his girl and Mindy Macready gets her childhood back, I nod that all is good with the world as it should be and I know I will embark on this roller coaster many more times before my time is through. So, I’ll be seeing you.

Thanks Kick-Ass

Thanks Hit Girl


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